Happy 3rd

Hey , you ! 

It has been the third year of knowing you . I'm glad we did . Since you came into my life , I could not describe how joyful and cheerful I was . You gave me so much to remember . You're the light of my life , just so you know , I've loved you since then . Even when I saw you at your worst , my love grew stronger . I've seen your flaws , your weaknesses and your fears , but my love for you did not reduce by a whisker . 

We both know it'll end as we predict . And yeap , it happened . I'm not supposed to celebrate this special day , but I did anyway . Yesterday , was our day . Yesterday , was the moment when we first talked . Do you remember our first convo ? I bet you do , cos I still remember what I said to you , and you replied "budak mana ni ? Bole tahan lawak" something like that . Hahaha . How can I forget , you keep giving me butterflies and keep me smiling the whole time . Despite our small fights and countless arguments , we were so in love back then . 

It is inconceivable how a guy like you would fall for a girl like me . Thanks for coping with my attitude and behaviour these past three years . Sorry for hurting you . Thank you for teaching me so many things about love and life . 

Let me know if you have found your future wife . I will be the happiest person on Earth to see you all dressed up for your special day , eventho my name is not the one being called by that tok kadi haha sounds so cliché aye ? 

Last but not least , thank you for loving me wholeheartedly . I just want you to know that I will never forget the date when we first talked and every precious moments we've shared as you left a strong impact in my life . Until now , you still occupy a huge space in my heart and it is impossible for someone to easily snatch your position in it . It surely gonna take a long time to do so . 

I'm gonna end my writing here . 

Happy 3rd , you . I wrote this post on our third anniversary but I just posted it today . Bukan sebab lupa lagi mcm our first anniversary kbai 

#4

Being able to talk to you again for hours is life .

But ...  for what reason ? If everything is for out of pity and whatsoever , then I think we're done .

#3

Maybe I miss you and our little things , it's just a maybe .
I'm not saying that I am thinking about you at the moment , but if I wasn't , why would I write this entry about you ?

Maybe because I didn't receive any love and affection from someone for quite awhile . Yea prolly cause of that . I've been all by myself since we separated (better word to be used rather than broke up) *coughs*
but wait --
I'm sure you'll be like "nah you've got someone else by your side" well yeap , there is . But honestly , it doesn't change anything tho . I'm just doing it for the sake of not wanting to feel empty .... but I do .

This is the hardest goodbye , and the hardest part in my life is moving on from you . I thought it would be a piece of cake , but nope . Nevermind , I'm doing fine still . I still can eat , breathe , laugh like always . The emptiness , I am used to that . I'm sure you're doing perfectly fine without me :)

Egois aku

Mungkin aku tidak mahu dirobek hati ,
Ditonyoh-pijak sehingga lumat ,
Lalu cebisan aku dibuang oleh kamu .

Mungkin aku tidak mahu jatuh cinta ,
Dilempar-lontar sebuah kebahagiaan ,
Lalu cebisan aku disimpan rapi oleh kamu .

Kamu itu subjektif ,
Dan aku sukar menafi kewujudanmu ,
Kerna kamu , aku punya 1001 rasa ,
Bilamana gembira; kamu penyebabnya ,
Bilamana duka; kamu penyebabnya .

Dan ya ,
Kamu itu ada .

Fxvk yu

Pernah kau rasa palat ?
seakan tekak kau disekat ,
dan jarak kau dengan kematian cuma satu hela ,
satu hela nafas menjadi penentuan ,
sama ada Tuhan beri kau sedutan seterusnya ,
atau itu terakhir kali kau merasa angin dunia .

Itu aku rasakan ketika kau merentap raga aku ,
dan kau bakar daging dagingku sehingga ke lapisan paling dalam ,
hitam legam ; tiada suci seputih susu .

Dan aku bukan setoleransi dahulu .

#2nd

Funny how things ended the way we expected them to be ,
But then you will be the one who could not accept the truth .
It's like you are wishing for it not to come about ,
but hey , we all know the denouement .

It will never be a happy ending .

I never blame you for that . Instead I thank you for all the thingummies you have done for me .
Thank you for ever giving me your heart and I gave you mine in return .
And now I am living with my own heart ,
I have handed back your love and avidity .

And shall you meet a new girl (which you already met) , fxvk the flows alright . Our flow wasn't a good paragon . Let it be the first and the last time we ever lived with flow .

Doing good is what I always do ,
and I am doing it right now .
I have stopped thinking about you ,
I have stopped longing for you ,
No more snivel please I'm 20 bro .

Surely going to miss all those memories we had . Take care just whenever you are , I will pray for your contentment and peace .

Melankoli #1

Boleh tak , kalau kita hentikan masa dimana kita saling melengkapi dan tak perlu berdepan dengan isu kehilangan ? 

Kerna kehilangan itu suatu penyeksaan , sungguh .